You’re Not Alone: A Letter to the Mum Who Feels Like She’s Failing

Dear Mum,

I see you. I see the exhaustion in your words, the heaviness that comes from giving so much of yourself that there’s nothing left. I see the guilt you carry for not being able to “do it all” and the fear that you’re letting your family down. You’re not alone in feeling this way, even though it might seem like it.

First, let me tell you this: You are not failing.

What you’re experiencing is not a reflection of your worth as a mum, a wife, or a person. It’s burnout—overwhelm so big it feels like a mountain you can’t climb. And it makes sense. You’re carrying so much on your shoulders.

It’s Okay to Feel Stuck

There’s a reason your mind and body feel like they’re saying “no.” You’ve been running on empty, giving more than you’ve got, and your body is begging for rest. Those “gray days” aren’t a sign of failure; they’re a cry for care. Sometimes, just surviving is the bravest thing you can do.

It’s okay that you didn’t tackle the housework or the emails. It’s okay that you watched a show to escape for a while. Those moments of stillness—however imperfect—are part of survival. And survival is enough for now.

You’re Not Alone in This Struggle

So many mums, especially those with ADHD, face the same feelings of overwhelm, guilt, and isolation. It’s hard to juggle the constant noise in your head with the demands of motherhood, work, and life. Your frustration is valid. Your exhaustion is valid.

But here’s the thing: You don’t have to do this alone. It’s okay to lean on others—whether that’s your partner, a friend, or a professional who can guide you through this tough season.

Small Steps Forward

Right now, you don’t need a perfect plan to fix everything. You just need a small step. Here are a few that might help:

• Pause and Breathe: Find five minutes to close your eyes, take deep breaths, and focus on your heart. Let yourself feel whatever comes up without judgment.

• Choose One Tiny Task: It could be as simple as drinking a glass of water, texting a friend, or making the bed. One small win is enough.

• Let Go of Guilt: Your worth is not tied to how clean your house is or how many emails you’ve answered. Your love for your family is enough.

Your Family Needs You

Your kids don’t need a perfect mum. They need you—the mum who loves them, even on her hard days. They’ll remember your hugs and your laughter far more than the state of the house.

And your partner, even through the challenges, likely sees the weight you’re carrying. It’s okay to share your burden with them or to ask for help, even if it feels hard.

This Is Not Forever

The heaviness you’re feeling now won’t last forever. Burnout is a season, not a life sentence. With time, rest, and support, you’ll find your way back to yourself.

For now, please be kind to yourself. Rest when you can. Cry if you need to. And remind yourself that doing your best—even if it feels like less than you want—is more than enough.

You are enough, just as you are.

With love,

Someone Who Understands